24 September 2009

Why Don't I Just Quit?

Have you ever had a day where you just felt like giving up? I have...today actually! 'Why don't I just Quit?" That is what went through my mind. Today is the second time in as many weeks that I have thought about quitting. It is insane to me that I even entertain the idea. What else am I going to do? Where would I go? If I did quit I would merely be running from God, from His will. I am reminded of Ps. 139:7-8 "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence. If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there." As you can see, running really isn't an option for me.

I am continually irritated with myself at how low my struggle threshold is. I hit a bump in the road and I want to quit. I turn into a head wind and want to pull over and wait. I drive into the rain and want to pull under an overpass and call it a day. The truth is that I have nothing to complain about. I was reminded today at what the disciples went through back in the day. They were persecuted at every turn. Somebody always wanted to throw them in prison, beat them, and kill them. Nobody has wanted to kill me yet. If they have they haven't told me about it. I look at Paul and I see a bunch of issues- "Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness—" 2Cor 11:23-27

In case you didn't catch it the first time, read those passages again. At my current pace, I would have given up with one shipwreck, or one time being beaten. Or worse yet, I would have given up with the mere threat of any of the above. When I get into moods like this I just have to remind myself that I haven't seen anything yet! Don't get me wrong, I don't want to quit, I just think about it from time to time.

What it comes down to in the end is that I can either do what God has called me to do or I can run from Him. The problem with running? Psalm 139- I can't go anywhere without God being there. I can't escape Him, and in all reality, I don't want to. Been there, done that. Years of running led to years of pain and agony. Then I look at Paul and I think- don't want that either. It is a catch 22 of sorts. At least it is in my mind.

All this runs through my head, then I meet a guy like Corky. I was walking my dog Kali and he turned to try to pet her. She is timid, so that didn't go so well. I went to walk on when I heard God's Spirit speak to me and say "talk", so I did. In less than five minutes he opened up his life to me, all his ailments and all his problems. Five minutes, that's it! We walked only one city block. When we got to the end of the block I realized we were going separate ways, so I stopped him and asked if I could pray with him. He said yes, absolutely! I told Him that doctors may not be able to help, but God can. We prayed and he went on his way. As I walked back to the apartment I realized one important thing, I can't quit! I won't quit! It's just not in me to quit. Why not? Corky, that's why I won't quit!

Have you ever quit? Have you ever wanted to quit? How did you keep yourself from giving up? Do you have a secret to success in this area that we could all learn from?

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