25 March 2010

Not A Wall Runner Througher

Recently I posted an update that asked, "When you come up against something big in life do you tend to face it or run? I tend to run." 

I based this question out of Romans7:15, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do."

As I have spent time lately in prayer, meditation, and study of the Bible I have come to some harsh realities in my own life. One is my response to the above question. I tend to run. It isn't pretty, but if I am going to be honest, it's the truth. When I come up against a wall, I tend to run the other way. I am not a wall climber, runner througher, or knocker downer. It just doesn't come natural to me. I just don't seem to have the tendency or ability. 

I have some things in my life that are head on issues that I need to face. We all have them, for that matter. But what we don't all have is the desire to avoid them. I have an uncanny ability, on a somewhat consistent basis, to work around the big stuff. I have learned to function in life without dealing with these things head on. It needs to change, and here is why- I have a strong desire to do amazing things for God. I want to succeed at this ministry thing. I want to run my course with success! 

A big misconception I have had is that if I'm called into ministry, God will automatically make me a success. I was told many times that if it's God's will, He'll make it work, despite my actions. This is simply just not true and I am learning this more and more each day.

I have seen many truly successful people, and one thing they all have in common is the ability to face problems and tough situations head on. They have a natural ability programmed in their DNA that allows them the bust through any wall that they may come up against. They can look at a problem and see it as an opportunity to succeed. I see it as an opportunity to fail. Call it pessimism, negativity, or what have you. I call it a core root issue. I see it as a huge problem and the main reason why I cannot do more in ministry. I see it as a major barrier to becoming a huge success.

Don't get me wrong, I do face the problems in my life quite frequently.  I am not saying I don't, but merely pointed out my natural tendency to avoid them. Let's put it this way, if I can, in any way, avoid the problem, I will. Through this I have missed God, struggled way too long with things, and just plain made life difficult.

With so much coming for myself and Right Side Up Ministries in the future, I felt a need to get this out, to make it public. By doing so I hope to put my life on the accountability platform. The Bible tells us that if we make light of our sins we bring them out of darkness and are able to be cleansed. Change is possible, even in the most impossible, life proven habits. We can break through the toughest issues if we are willing to get it out and let it go. 

If you have the same tendency I do I want you to know that God is able to help. He is able to get you through this struggle. The first step is to let it out into the light and then start making a conscience decision to go another way. That is, after all, the true definition of repentance. Repent of not facing your giants today and let God form you into a warrior worthy of your calling.

What are your biggest struggles in life? Are they things that you are willing to share with others?

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